The Birth of Kano: Memoirs of Yukiko Kazan

[Yukiko]

June 10, 414 A.W.

We went surfing today, Genji and I. I had told him I wanted to, like we always used to do back on Ember Island when everyone else was still alive. He seemed confused by it. I didn’t know how to explain it to him. I’m not even sure about it myself. Kind of defeats the purpose of getting out of the Nation to leave behind the memories for awhile if I’m just gonna do something that reminds me of it all. But I convinced him to do it anyway.

When we first got to the beach, the water was pretty useless for surfing. Hardly any waves worth our time. I was really disappointed by that and said that maybe we should go back. It was kind of a waste, you know? Genji gave me this odd look before saying he’d make waves for us if I really wanted to do this. I thought about it for a bit before agreeing to that. I sometimes forget that Genji’s a Waterbender like Mama was. And he’s MUCH better at it than her. The swells he made were MASSIVE. It was a lot of fun.

[Yukiko]

July 9, 414 A.W.

Genji and I are visiting the Eastern Air Temple today. The monks here are all female, just like before the 100-year war. But there are other travelers here as well, like Genji and me.

The Sisters are very kind. They’ve patiently showed Genji and me around the entire temple. I must have had a thousand questions for them and they answered each one. And afterwards, I asked them to show me how to weave. We got to see some of them weaving blankets and stuff for the visitors and to sell in markets on the mainland. They said I could start tomorrow. I’m rather excited about it. They have such serious, yet peaceful looks of concentration as they weave. I never thought I’d think that something like weaving could look...beautiful.

Hotaka seems to really like it here. He responds really well to the Sisters and seems to love running around, playing with the bison. I should ask them how they got him to listen so well. He’s so fickle with me.

[Yukiko]

July 10, 414 A.W.

Weaving is both simple and VERY difficult. It’s no wonder they are so focused when they work. The slightest distraction can throw the entire project off and you basically have to undo everything you just did and start over where you messed up. Which sucks if you don’t catch yourself in time. I think I restarted about three or four times before finally getting the hang of it. I got about one-third of the way done with a small blanket today. I THINK it’s turning out pretty well so far. It’s very tiring, though. And easy to fall into a rhythm. They said once I had finished, they would show me how to stitch the ends together so it looks really nice, too.

[Yukiko]

July 20, 414 A.W.

Genji and I have fallen into a rhythm here. It’s basically the daily motions the Sisters go through. Rise early, morning meditations, morning meal, various chores and duties around the temple, mid-day meal followed by meditation, more duties, evening meal, evening meditation, and going to bed. Occasionally, Genji and I will spar together, since few others here use hand-to-hand combat and even fewer use swords. And of course, I’m always doing something with my Firebending, if only to not diminish my skill. The Sisters have begun teaching me to sew as well, which I actually prefer over weaving. For some reason, I find it less difficult to mess up sewing than weaving. Go figure.

Hotaka and I have gotten much closer since coming to the Temple. He’s been responding to my attempts to train him quite well. I think we both needed the calming atmosphere and spirituality the Sisters create here. And the occasional silliness. The Sisters have quite a sense of humor. It’s a shame we’ll be leaving tomorrow. But Genji wants to make sure we get back to the Capital in time for the beginning of the school year. I’m not really looking forward to it, given how this past year ended on such a sour note. But I know Papa and Mama would be disappointed if I just quit or something like that. They all would.

[Yukiko]

July 30, 414 A.W.

Well, we’re back in the Fire Nation once more with a minimum of fuss and troubles. The journey back was relatively uneventful, all things considered. We headed south, skirting the islands of the AES, past the Southern Water Tribe, with a short stop in the Southern Air Temple before moving on to home. It felt like we were traveling forever, surrounded by nothing but water for basically the entire trip. Genji was happy about that, I think. He really loves the water, after all. I suppose that’s natural—for a bender to love their element. I’ve always been fond of fire, personally.

[Yukiko]

August 3, 414 A.W.

The school year started two days ago and I’ve been surprisingly busy this entire time. Not with the review work the professors have given us or even with my training. No, I’ve spent the past two days trying to remain hidden. Hotaru was allowed back into school and has been bugging me ever since the year started. I’d rather not get in trouble for fighting with her again—understandable, right? But it seems like no matter where I hide—and I have several spots—she always manages to find me. Her and her posse. I’m at the top of the Observatory Tower at the moment. I’m strongly considering asking Genji if I can just commute to school rather than live in the dorms. It’s getting ridiculous. They don’t...DO anything. No pushing or slapping or any physical torment. But they won’t shut up! They’ll just follow me around and chatter about the most inane things or insult me and my family. I know I should speak with Headmaster Chang about it, but I don’t know...That’s like giving in, to me. Which is ridiculous, I know, but the fact remains. Of course, staying with Genji in the family house is rather like copping out, too. So I’m rather stuck, aren’t I?

[Yukiko]

Later

I really just want to rip Hotaru's heart out. If she even has one. I strongly suspect she doesn't. It's just a giant black hole in the center of her chest that eats all the good things inside her and spews out vileness. She broke my father's bracelet! It was the last goddamn gift he gave me before he died! IT BELONGED TO MY GREAT-GRANDMOTHER!

She received two week's worth of detentions for it, but I don't give a damn. Papa never gave me much in the way of material possessions. Nothing beyond what I needed, anyway. His gifts were rarely sentimental, like the bracelet was. They were functional, things I could USE. So when he would give me jewelry or anything like that, it’s something really special to him. Which makes it special to ME. And she just...broke it like it was nothing. Like its history was unimportant. Like she wasn't breaking a part of me that's already shattered.

[Yukiko]

August 31, 414 A.W.

I haven't had to deal with Hotaru too much the past month. She's kept away from me after her little bout with the detentions, but who knows how long THAT will last. Still, it's allowed me to do my classwork without too much difficulty. We're finally moving out of the review work and into new material, especially in my Bending classes. I'm rather excited for that since basically all I did this summer was “review" what I'd already learned.

[Yukiko]

September 7, 414 A.W.

A year ago today, Raiden joined Arashi in the Spirit Realm. I think I'm going to start setting aside time on the days my family died and devote it to remembering them. Each day has been seared into my memory, so why not do something constructive about those memories? Today, I snuck out of class and went into the Capital market to buy some Komodo sausages. They were Raiden's favorite dish and snack. I'm not as big a fan, but it's definitely a way to stay close to his memory.

I took Hotaka along, since he doesn't get around the city much now that school's started up. He was pretty well-behaved, though there was a moment when I thought he'd attack the sausage stall to get at the meat. He really likes Komodo sausage. Probably because Raiden was always slipping him some.

[Yukiko]

November 30, 414 A.W.

It’s been almost two months since I’ve written anything. There just hasn’t been much to write about, to be honest. I study, I train, I sleep and eat - all the motions of daily life, basically. Haven’t had much trouble from Hotaru and Co., but I count myself among the lucky that it’s lasted THIS long. Hotaru’s the stereotypical short-tempered Fire Nation child, after all.

But that’s not why I’m writing, of course. Today is supposed to be about Kishi. This is the one year anniversary of his death. His will probably be the easiest to hold in remembrance. On this day, no matter what I’m supposed to be doing, I’ll dedicate three hours to training exclusively with the masters of our family. He would’ve been a master by now. He never trained for less than three hours straight every day...and usually for a good deal longer. But I’m not quite as dedicated as him, so I’ll settle for three hours to remember his dedication to the art of swordplay.

I wish I’d thought to commemorate Mother’s death, as well as Arashi’s and Hikaru’s before now. But I suppose I’ll just have to settle for doing so from now on.

[Yukiko]

December 6, 414 A.W.

I’m still visiting Docter Xing-fu on a regular basis. Though it’s been scaled back to only once a month. We had our monthly meeting today, of all days. When I would rather be out meditating or doing something with Firebending, I was stuck in Xing-fu’s office. It was incredibly frustrating.

Today was supposed to be about Papa. It’s the one-year anniversary and instead I had to spend my day running around like a chicken with its head cut off. First, I had classes all day. Then I had to run across the city to Xing-fu’s office where he picked at my brain for nearly 2 hours (which was RIDICULOUS because nothing much had CHANGED since our last visit). And after that, Grandfather dragged Genji and I around the city to help make arrangements for a feast. Seriously...what the hell? There’s nothing to even be feasting FOR. Unless he’s doing it in memory of Papa, which I seriously doubt. And now it’s almost midnight. Could things GET more insane?

[Yukiko]

December 15, 414 A.W.

Well, I was right. The feast certainly wasn’t for Papa. It was because one of my cousins is apparently engaged. The wedding’s supposed to be sometime next month, I think. Woo-hoo and such, I suppose. I don’t like the guy anyway. He’s more of a pompous, arrogant fool than Kishi was. And isn’t even half as talented. I sometimes have to wonder about Papa’s family. They don’t always seem to be the most sane and intelligent of individuals. Maybe that explains why I have so many problems?

[Yukiko]

December 18, 414 A.W.

Tomorrow’s my tenth birthday. Grandfather spirited me away tonight because he’s got some big thing planned for tomorrow. I don’t know if it’s going to be for my birthday or something else entirely, but at least I won’t have class tomorrow. A break is nice every now and again. I don’t take them often. It’s easier not to.

[Yukiko]

December 19, 414 A.W.

I’m at Ember Isle, my favorite place in the whole Nation. It’s nearly midnight, but I haven’t been able to escape until now. My “birthday party" is still going on outside in the streets of the city and all across the island, but I’m certainly not participating anymore. Thank the gods for small favors, I suppose. I really wasn’t expecting an all-day spectacle for my birthday. Grandfather really made a fuss about it.

A parade and massive city-wide festival with ridiculous amounts of food and desserts and entertainment. And for dinner (how can anyone even THINK of dinner after stuffing themselves all day long?) all of my favorite foods laid out for the entire family to enjoy while the festival’s still going on. And once it was dark enough, fireworks. FIREWORKS. Of all the ridiculous things he did today, I actually feel THAT is the worst. You’d think we were celebrating a national holiday or something. But no. All for little ol’ me. Gah! Grandfather said this wasn’t just a celebration of my birth, but also of my father’s legacy. If we’re celebrating Papa’s “legacy,” then how come Genji didn’t get anything half as nice for HIS birthday? I even asked that. Grandfather said that Genji was my mother’s legacy - a Waterbender, through and through. Nothing wrong with that and all, but it’s not really something the Fire Nation would care about. But me? I’m a Firebender, like Papa was. “That actually MEANS something in our great Nation, Yukiko. Our family does quite well without bending, of course. There are no greater sword wielders than we. But there is no higher honor or glory than to be a Firebender for the Fire Nation military. And YOU have that opportunity, little one. Just as your father did. That is more than enough reason to celebrate.”

Cheery thought, huh? I'm not sure how I feel about that.

[Yukiko]

January 1, 415 A.W.

Happy New Year! That’s all I hear screamed at me through the corridors as I walk to class. Yes. Fantastic. New year and all that. Woot. It doesn’t feel any different from yesterday. Or the day before that. Things have stopped feeling different from day to day after everything that’s happened. I don’t feel like I’m moving forward. I feel...stuck. Like I’m trapped in mud or something. But where am I supposed to go from here?

Oh. My cousin was married earlier today. Genji and I left the reception early, though. Neither of us was in a very festive mood today